Signals...medication

1/ I haven't talked much about my medication, because I don't know how to express things about this. One thing for sure is that there is some side effects and the most obvious one is being sleepy. I just want to sleep and do nothing. I told my doctor about this last time and he said things will get better once I get used to the medication.

 

2/ About my classmate ( I know it's him again but I want to talk about him), he would also ask me to check his assignments.( I have just checked his English assignment this morning) I remember last week he saw me in the dormitory building, he stopped and talked to me. Then I remember he said his roommates were out of town, he also said that I should stop by sometime. I didn't hear that "I should stop by sometime" well so I asked him to say that again, and he said "you know, stop by sometimes and chat".

 

Tonight I stopped by his dorm room not just for seeing him but also to ask for some information on the school activity that we are organizing. He made a joke about me again while I was trying to tell him my work.

Signals, intention......

1/ My classmates has asked me about "why I don't have a girlfriend" or "am I looking for one". I just said it is not the time yet. I don't know what he means but I guess he is trying to find something out? Then I have threw him back the same question and he said he is looking for one but just haven't found one yet. I am not sure what is this all about. But just funny to have him around.

 

2/ Signals remind me of the movie "He's just not that into you" (I haven't watched that yet). I more remember the episode from Sex and the City. What I want to say is that maybe I intent to get closer to him, and he is just being friendly, and I took those friendly acts as signals.

 

 

Signals

Seriously I have no idea who is actually my reader but I should not care about this so much.

 

I am confused about signs that I have picked up from people around me. I am not sure if it is just because I am paranoid or it is really some signs.

 

A classmate of mine here is pretty interesting:

 

1/ He would ask me if I want to go to toilet with me, basically he said something like "go to the bathroom with me"

2/ After class, he would say something like " where are you going"

3/ He would also say things like " go to the dorm with me", btw, we live in the same block

4/ He would also suggest something like going to the library with him or have dinner earlier

 

This is quite interesting. I have no idea what these could mean...........

 

 

Reasons why I deserve to be pathetic

1/ boring

2/ arrogant

3/ a jerk

4/ never consider others' feelings

5/ pretend to be nice

6/ evil

7/ ugly

8/ pretend to be smart

9/ never really be friendly to people

10/ can't stop myself from being pathetic

Love....Sex.....mixed feelings

I don't know what to say exactly but surely many of you guys have thought of it or at least know someone who has this kind of problem, or at least you remember some movie was all about this.

 

Sexuality, or sexual orientation is really about sex. I mean we are attrached by same or another gender or sometimes both. But then how do we know that? I know how we will know about this. One thing for sure is your preference of porn. What kind of porn you watch certainly make this clear. But what if you are turned on by both? Then how do you know?

 

I have read some books and articles and they also said sexuality is about what gender you are sexually and emotionally attracted to. Then I can't stop myself to think, am I really emotionally attracted to guy? (Sorry if it seems to look like a statement from Sex and the City lol)

 

Seriously, most homosexuals only talk about sex but never talk about emotions or other stuffs. For me, I am not sure but it seems that I am emotionally attracted to some girls as well as guys.Then what should I say?

 

This is weird. I wonder what you guys think about this? Leave comments here or send me an e-mail!

 

PS. I have to believe that no one really read my blog since there's no nice picture in it.

 

 

First week on medication

I have started medication last week, it is all about my emotional swing and also some weird things. The side effects are quite obvious and I get high easily and also getting tired easily. Nothing much have came to my mind, except maybe a few things about friends and relationship.

 

 

Move your lazy ass

Sometimes you know what is good for you and what you should do but you just never move your lazy ass.

I am talking about plans that I have never made it happen, such as working out everyday, or like taking a long walk or doing some sports, reading more books and interesting thing.............................................. ~'~

Question for the day.

Here's the question. You will know it better if you have ever watched the TV show from Fox called HOUSE md.

 

Would you rather be treated by a doctor who is an asshole like Greg House or something that treat you like a person as Cameron or 13?

 

Comments needed! :)

Life is sometimes so f#*king

I don't know what to say but sometimes you can be situated in a crossroads in a sudden.

 

I don't feel like writing a lot tonight. I am tired, depressed, and just want to be somewhere else.

 

This is just a meaningless update and I promise I will write more about what happened this weekend.

Long Time No Post

I received an e-mail from someone who found my blog while searching for pictures of cute guys. After reading his message, I just realised I haven't been writing anything in this blog for a longgggggggggg time. So I decided I would write something here today.

 

1/ I am doing fine now (by now I mean at this moment, the moment I am writing this post)

 

2/ My mom is getting better but still feels kind of tired and exhausted all the time. Also, I haven't seen her for more than a month.

 

3/ I have been seeing a school counselor and I just talked to her about my depression and all sorts of thing. Yes! and I also came out to her and I will probably tell more about how I feel about this.

 

4/ I had a meeting with a psychiatrist who makes regular visits to our college. I talked to her and my school counselor also joined the conversation. We have just realised I might have something called bipolar and I might have to start medication. The past medication is not helping because the diagnosis was wrong.

 

5/ Classes are great, and interesting. Except sometimes I feel tired for no reasons and I am not showing any interests in anything......

 

6/ I have been thinking I should restart this blog. What do you think?

 

7/ I started to check out cute guys on the streets or in the campus. By this I mean I will find or suddenly spot some eye candies and just enjoy looking at them.

 

8/ I don't know why I have a feeling of drinking some wine. I did and it is probably not good for me. Since I might have bipolar or other stuffs and alcohol is gonna screw me up.

 

9/ I now have problems dealing with others. I wonder if it has anything to do with my emotional swing.

 

10/ I have watched the first and second season of the British TV drama- Skins. The first season was great. Mitch Hewer is cute lol

 

11/ Oh! I also came out to my only friend in Hong Kong. He seems to be fine about this but we haven't talked after I came out to him.

 

12/ I miss a bunches of things. It has to do with my high school exchange year.

 

13/ Does anyone really have a gaydar that works well?

 

14/ I have been thinking about traveling everyday, and I don't know why.

 

15/ I don't know what to say, let's make an end here. I hope to receive some feedback!