I thought I would be pissed off.....

I thought I would be pissed off, and the fact was that I didn't. Yesterday was my grandmother's 80th birthday (father's mom) and I have been told to attend the dinner. According to the old history, my grandmother and all my aunts and uncles will bitching around and starting to humiliate me by talking about my mom and also throwing hints that my father is a coward. Which is something I usually piss me off and then I will start to get crazy, but this time, I was not pissed off.

The dinner was better than I thought, just a normal dinner with some laughter and also not-so-bad food. Except that the food is sort of salty and not enough for everyone. I hate these dinner thing but I just pretend being cool with it and just laugh when they said something funny.

My father's side of family had always been discriminating my mother for no reason. Just because she is a immigrant and they forgot there WERE actually immigrants to back to the 1950's (around the year of Chinese civil war, and you know more than 80% of Hong Kong Chinese are descendents of immigrants). They also thought that my mother will take all my dad's possesion and the truth is my dad is a poor guy and he got nothing expensive to take away from.

As I have told you, my parents are getting divorce and it's still a huge mess. They haven't agreed on quite a lot of thing yet. I have no comments on that and I knew what happened since I was young.

Actually they did humiliate my father in some sort of way yesterday night, try to make him like a waiter and serve everyone and made him like a labor, and this is what they usually do. Good thing is they didn't talk about my mother, and that's why I am not angry or whatever.

I don't really like this kind of dinner because there's no real connection of people nor real communication. It was just saying all sorts of words that to praise someone and actually mean nothing. I have been not willing to go to this kind of dinner for years. When I was 12, I got a fever on the night for my grandmother's birthday dinner and then I told them I feel so ill to get there and I were not going there, and then my grandmother pissed off and asked my uncle to drive to my home and pick me up, I got there afterwards and eat and then puke.................

There's also a reason I HAVE to go there. They (my father's family) have been saying that my mother teaches me how to piss them off or how to not respect them (eg. not attending to any family events), in fact I DID NOT FEEL LIKE GOING THERE, because THEY are TOTALLY INSANE. As for now, I will go once or twice and then will look pissed off when I got home. My grandmother is old and even she did something bad to my parents, I do respect her in different ways but I sort of hate her.

So many family history here.....

Let's talk about my health. The depression and psychosis thing is getting better and better and probably because I don't stay at home 24/7 and get the hang out with people. Except I am coughing and having an itching throat, I didn't see doctor this time but I saw the Chinese herbalist for some herbal tea and then I have to drink them only once a day. Here's another funny thing, I have been horny all day long and then being slutty on my msn with all the friends who read my blog, I try to figure out why and then I came out with one reason, the Chinese herbalist got me some herbal that is also use to turn someone up ;)

It's probably the longest post ever in this blog, hope you are not bored.......Jeremy Ryan of El Homo Blogo have this idea of putting some hotties between paragraphs, maybe I should do that too.

PS>I don't know what to put on the tittle so I decided to do it like those tittles of Emily Dickinson's poem :P