Signals

Seriously I have no idea who is actually my reader but I should not care about this so much.

 

I am confused about signs that I have picked up from people around me. I am not sure if it is just because I am paranoid or it is really some signs.

 

A classmate of mine here is pretty interesting:

 

1/ He would ask me if I want to go to toilet with me, basically he said something like "go to the bathroom with me"

2/ After class, he would say something like " where are you going"

3/ He would also say things like " go to the dorm with me", btw, we live in the same block

4/ He would also suggest something like going to the library with him or have dinner earlier

 

This is quite interesting. I have no idea what these could mean...........

 

 

Reasons why I deserve to be pathetic

1/ boring

2/ arrogant

3/ a jerk

4/ never consider others' feelings

5/ pretend to be nice

6/ evil

7/ ugly

8/ pretend to be smart

9/ never really be friendly to people

10/ can't stop myself from being pathetic

Love....Sex.....mixed feelings

I don't know what to say exactly but surely many of you guys have thought of it or at least know someone who has this kind of problem, or at least you remember some movie was all about this.

 

Sexuality, or sexual orientation is really about sex. I mean we are attrached by same or another gender or sometimes both. But then how do we know that? I know how we will know about this. One thing for sure is your preference of porn. What kind of porn you watch certainly make this clear. But what if you are turned on by both? Then how do you know?

 

I have read some books and articles and they also said sexuality is about what gender you are sexually and emotionally attracted to. Then I can't stop myself to think, am I really emotionally attracted to guy? (Sorry if it seems to look like a statement from Sex and the City lol)

 

Seriously, most homosexuals only talk about sex but never talk about emotions or other stuffs. For me, I am not sure but it seems that I am emotionally attracted to some girls as well as guys.Then what should I say?

 

This is weird. I wonder what you guys think about this? Leave comments here or send me an e-mail!

 

PS. I have to believe that no one really read my blog since there's no nice picture in it.

 

 

First week on medication

I have started medication last week, it is all about my emotional swing and also some weird things. The side effects are quite obvious and I get high easily and also getting tired easily. Nothing much have came to my mind, except maybe a few things about friends and relationship.

 

 

Move your lazy ass

Sometimes you know what is good for you and what you should do but you just never move your lazy ass.

I am talking about plans that I have never made it happen, such as working out everyday, or like taking a long walk or doing some sports, reading more books and interesting thing.............................................. ~'~

Question for the day.

Here's the question. You will know it better if you have ever watched the TV show from Fox called HOUSE md.

 

Would you rather be treated by a doctor who is an asshole like Greg House or something that treat you like a person as Cameron or 13?

 

Comments needed! :)

Life is sometimes so f#*king

I don't know what to say but sometimes you can be situated in a crossroads in a sudden.

 

I don't feel like writing a lot tonight. I am tired, depressed, and just want to be somewhere else.

 

This is just a meaningless update and I promise I will write more about what happened this weekend.

Long Time No Post

I received an e-mail from someone who found my blog while searching for pictures of cute guys. After reading his message, I just realised I haven't been writing anything in this blog for a longgggggggggg time. So I decided I would write something here today.

 

1/ I am doing fine now (by now I mean at this moment, the moment I am writing this post)

 

2/ My mom is getting better but still feels kind of tired and exhausted all the time. Also, I haven't seen her for more than a month.

 

3/ I have been seeing a school counselor and I just talked to her about my depression and all sorts of thing. Yes! and I also came out to her and I will probably tell more about how I feel about this.

 

4/ I had a meeting with a psychiatrist who makes regular visits to our college. I talked to her and my school counselor also joined the conversation. We have just realised I might have something called bipolar and I might have to start medication. The past medication is not helping because the diagnosis was wrong.

 

5/ Classes are great, and interesting. Except sometimes I feel tired for no reasons and I am not showing any interests in anything......

 

6/ I have been thinking I should restart this blog. What do you think?

 

7/ I started to check out cute guys on the streets or in the campus. By this I mean I will find or suddenly spot some eye candies and just enjoy looking at them.

 

8/ I don't know why I have a feeling of drinking some wine. I did and it is probably not good for me. Since I might have bipolar or other stuffs and alcohol is gonna screw me up.

 

9/ I now have problems dealing with others. I wonder if it has anything to do with my emotional swing.

 

10/ I have watched the first and second season of the British TV drama- Skins. The first season was great. Mitch Hewer is cute lol

 

11/ Oh! I also came out to my only friend in Hong Kong. He seems to be fine about this but we haven't talked after I came out to him.

 

12/ I miss a bunches of things. It has to do with my high school exchange year.

 

13/ Does anyone really have a gaydar that works well?

 

14/ I have been thinking about traveling everyday, and I don't know why.

 

15/ I don't know what to say, let's make an end here. I hope to receive some feedback!

This blog is.........

Is this blog haunted or what? Sorry that I can't tell you because I
have been busy about school works and never thought of writing a few
post in this blog. Even if I wanted to, I don't know what to talk
about.

A few things I can think of right now:

1/ Andrew at Desperate Housewives finally has a boyfriend and it was cool.

2/ Even number "13" at HOUSE is cruising at bars and bringing girls
home. I remember that actress was acting as a lesbian at The O.C.

3/ I don't know why, but this month has been a "gay" month for me so
far. My classmates at college are talking about gay people on facebook
and sharing pictures of cute guys and all sorts of thing.........

That's all.

Hottie and the City

I am back to Hong Kong for Christmas holiday. It is great to be home
again even though there is not much to do.

Yesterday I went to Causeway Bay and had dinner. It was so crowded and
I have never seen that for ages! There are many hotties in the streets
as well. I saw the same hot guy for twice, I also saw someone look
like Christiano Ronaldo at a deli store.

Talking about the deli store, it is one of my favorite place for
window shopping. I love the food, wine and most thing around there but
I will not buy anything there...

My classmates are coming and I will probably hang out with them a
little bit and also find some eye candy in the streets ;)

Damn!

What happened? I can't believe all these.

 

Today I made a girl cry, and this is not really the point. I said something not personal but related to what she did and then she cried.

 

Why is that bothering me? First of all it is me saying those bad thing and this unhappy situation made her cry.

 

And then it wasn't just because of making her cry bothers me, but also the fact that this girl is different.

 

This girl once asked me my point of view on boy-girl relationships and also asked if I want a girlfriend.

 

She also told me that I am interesting.

 

And she also look at me and smile and made me feel that she is interested in me.

 

She is also amazing and cute, I guess I am interested in her.

 

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO???

Teaching Assistants

I have mentioned earlier here that there will be around 20 teaching assistants from the US coming to our college and most of them have arrived last week. I met a few of them today and it was pretty cool. It's fun to have these people around because they are all eye candies :P (yummy) . I happen to find one of this guy attractive, and has really nice eyes.....

 

As you all know, there's a research saying that 10% of people are homosexual so I suppose 2 of them there is gay.

 

oooohhh.... it's gonna be interesting now!

Freakin' Singles' Day

Today is so called Singles' Day in China because it's 1111. I am celebrating it for sure..... poor me...

What's going on?

I have been quite a lazy ass lately: doing assignment at the last minute, surfing the net for nothing...etc......

There's a few thing I would like to share today. Something about relationships and new thought.

1/ Girls: Yes, you rarely see me talking about girls but I am going to talk about it anyway. I found myself having some sort of crush on a girl and have a feeling that I want to get closer to her. This is something weird because I have never had such feelings before. I am trying to explain it by this is my really first time expose to a co-ed world, having classes to lots of girls and have to talk to them all the time (or let's say I have to work on assignments and group project with them)

2/ Girls again: Something funny happened last Friday. I went to Macau with that girl as she asked if I could bring her there two weeks ago. We went there by bus (hey, did I tell you I am just an hour away from Macau?) after our English class. We did some sightseeing and I was her photographer since she doesn't have her camera with her. Not only just a normal trip but a few funny things happened. We went to the Macau food festival and we ordered different food and shared together, we were accidentally video taped by the Macau tourism board (which the video of that might end up showing somewhere in Macau and also in those promoting video of Macau) , the most funny thing is I found her checking out some cute guys on the street and somehow I am looking at the same eye candy.

3/ Girls again and again: As I said I sort of starting to have feelings for girls, and some people was surprised or freaked out by this. I'm not sure about the whole girl thing yet, but I am sure that I like having sex with guys, I like getting close to hot guys and I can't have sex with girls.

BI-sexual

What would you call a guy who is interested in having sex with guys and now having crushes on both guys and girls?

And he is not interested in having sex with girls

 

Tension Release II

The reason why I wrote the last post is because what Jeremy said and what did happened, and by coincidence I have just finished that episode of Sex and the City.....

 

We don't need to use extra words to justify jacking off and jack off is not something evil......

Tesion Release

Before I talk about the real topic, let me talk about Sex and the
City. Back in Season 3 of the show, Charlotte's husband Trey didn't
have sex with her for months. What happened is that Trey jack off at
night and Charlotte found that one day. Trey claimed that it is
tension relase.

After the first paragraph, I am pretty sure you know what I wanna talk
about, and Jeremy has just said the same thing on his comment.

Jeremy was right about the thing. Last night, I was sooooo horny and I
had some pleasure on my own, while one of my roomie is going back home
and one is probably making out with his girlfriend somewhere in the
campus.

It's good to release some tension out of my body and last night I had
a good sleep, the best in the past 14 days.

Bad, really bad

In the past 14 days, I haven't been able to sleep well, and always wake up reluctantly. My brain is like empty and I cannot work on any assignments or even learning things at class. I can't remember things I need to do and keep forgetting it.....

 

What's wrong with me?

I can't think queer either

I am so confused about all these things lately, it is stuck in my brain.

I have been checking out some cute girls at the campus and it was kind of strange..............any ideas of comments?

I can't think straight

I am back to Hong Kong again for the weekend. I am exhausted and my brain is empty, by empty I mean I cannot use my brain.

crap! I was thinking about writing a post and now I forgot what I wanna write.

Anyway, I am going to see a doctor for the Hep B vaccination and then I will ask him about it.