How....?

Sorry for no more eye candies in this blog for a while and I think I am trying to figure out what's wrong/ going on with me. I am glad that there's many comments.

Last Friday I went to see my psychologist and I was wishing to tell her something but it ended up that I didn't say anything and wasted the entire section. I know there's somethings wrong going on but I don't know what to say. It is hard for me to say what is going on which lead to another problem. Because I cannot tell my psychologist what is going on, she cannot do anything with it and pretty much I am stuck in somewhere on my depression and there's no progress.

On thing that could explain why I am feeling worse since the medication is that maybe my mental state started to get worse on the time I started the medication an the medication helps a little bit but not all.

Since I am not at school and I have so many free time. I want to do something meaningful but I can't push myself to do anything. I am probably the laziest person in the world.

So right now what I really want is I can figure out what the problems are and tell my doctor and psychologist about that so I can get out of the hell soon.

My life

So my life is not fucked up, but it's kind of messed up.

I think my medication is not working. I might have to change something after I see my doctor. And I also think I am having another new depression going on, I feel sick all the time, I don't want to eat, and I am bored and don't want to do anything.

I will see my psychologist next Friday and I hope I can tell her how I feel and we can figure something out.

Sorry, you guys have to listen to all my depressing thing. I want to write something different or interesting but I don't know what to talk about.

PS> The picture on the profile is not me. I am not that hot. LOL

My fucked up life

Well, I suppose I can write anything here right?
One of the reason why I write this blog is to talk about my feelings right?
I have been feeling bad these days and I really want to talk to someone.
Why there's no one who truly understands what I have been through???

This is a long story: (Sorry if this is a bad passage, I suck at writing)

Ummm, I don't know where should I start. I don't know what makes me feel down but this is what happens to me. I have depression and psychosis and I don't know when it started. I realised that when I was in the United States last year and I started to see therapy. Then I continue seeing a psychologist back in Hong Kong and I also started to see a doctor for medication on Summer 2007.

Even I am on medication, sometimes I feel better and sometimes I feel very (damn) bad.

I was stressed out at school and I quitted school last October and I have been staying home til now. I am confused about the school thing and I have to figure out what to do with school again.

One bad thing is that my parents are not supportive and they don't understand how bad I feel. I have fights with them all the time.

And I don't have many friends either. So pretty much I don't have any friends to supoort me. Everyone thinks I am a freak.

I am so frustrated and lost. I don't know how can I get out of all these problems. My life is simply messed up.

Some Questions

Prince Albert means pierced penis, right?

So is Jonny also means dick somehow?

Found these on facebook

Is it so hard just to find a guy who:
- IS SMART!!!
-Has a good personality
-Nice smile
-WON’T BREAK YOUR HEART!!
-Just wants to cuddle and not have sex
-thoughtful/considerate
-will sit and talk about any/everything
-LISTENS WHEN YOU TALK BACK!!!
-will hold your hand
-tell you how beautiful you are (not hot or fine or sexy)
-ISN’T AFRAID TO SHOW THEIR FEELINGS!!!
-tell you the TRUTH even if you don’t want to hear it.
-doesn’t want to be with a million other girls?
-is straight (lol)
-will be there for you through the good and bad times
-get you flowers just because
-will call/text you just to tell you how much he cares
-see a chick flick with you
-not make fun of you when you tell him your thought/dreams
-just sweet and good (for the most part)

Or am I just expecting too much??




Don't you think that's true??

Naughty

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Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

Question

Let me ask you something. As we all know, Mickey Mouse only has four fingers. So which finger he doesn't have?

Merry Christmas

Holiday

I feel like it's ages since my last entry and I didn't say anything.

Well, I have been very tired all day with no reasons and I think if there;s a cute boy to wake me up it would be awesome.

This year I am not really in a holiday mood like last year. Last year I was in the United States and I was more in the holiday thing than ever, I got many presents.

By the way I am also waiting for a package from my host family (the family who host me last year when I was a exchange student) in the midwest, it's something they gave me for birthday plus Christmas, I hope it arrive tomorrow.

Jeez, I have a headache right now. What I want is medicine and a cute boy will help too!


Maybe a guy like this?


Or this? :)

Queer Eye is back!

It's great that Queer Eye is back on TVB pearl on the 29th.
Queer Eye is always one of my favorite shows!

Is the dog looking at the wiener?

Being 18 (II)

Being 18 means I have to change my ID card and my passport soon (in a month I would say). I didn't feel I am more mature than before eventhough I am 18 now. Well, 18 is 18, there isn't much thing to expect for being 18 right?

Talking about sex. I don't think I really love anal sex. I don't know why. You know that not everyone like it huh?

I don't think I am a really sexually active person, and sex don't really mean a lot to me not til I got a boyfriend.

Oh, boyfriend! I have been longing to get one. But the more I am thinking about it, the more it will make me depressed. I know I should not be hurry for a boyfriend, it will come finally right?

Here's just some pic to today.

Being 18

Being 18 in Hong Kong, you can smoke, drink and gambling.

And I don't know why it reminds me something I knew from news.
There's a law in Hong Kong that guys under the age of 21 cannot have gay sex.
I always wonder why. It's something left by the British though....

Blazing Asian

Today I took the TOEFL test (a English test) and it should be fine.
I was kind of nervous at the oral examination.



I had Indian food for dinner tonight and then I saw the word "blazing" in somewhere, which reminds me my nickname at the high school play last year during my exchange year in USA is "Blazing Asian". I was working back stage in the school play and everyone get a nickname. Another boy who is also in the crew, let's call him Sporty Boy, he also worked the lights with me and he came out the nickname "Blazing Asian" for me and I don't know why.

It actually make sense somehow, coz I am the only Asian in the backstage crew so no matter if I am hot or not, I am also the blazing asian.



Well, just a pic I found long long time ago for you guys.

Lonely

I am lonely not because I'm alone but also I am bored. It's fine for be to be alone but not to feel lonely. It sucks!
I wish to have someone to cuddle with right now and talk.......

Boy Love

Happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate Thanksgiving.

Having a lover is so great......You can kiss whatever you want....

I wonder when will I get a boyfriend :P

Cute Czech Boys

Boring Weekend

This weekend is totally boring. I have nothing to do and just stay home. Wouldn't it be great to have someone to make out with?

Bryan

Hey Bryan,

You can add me to your msn or send me e-mail.


Jon