Thursday, February 14, 2008
100th POST!!!
After reading Troy's 100th post, I also want to write 100 things about me.
100 things about me:
1. I was born in Hong Kong
2. I was born in (probably wrong preposition for this) premature delivery (about 3 months earlier than usual)
3. I weighted about 4 pounds when I was born
4. I am only child of my parents
5. I have more than 20 cousins
6. My last name starts with T, and it’s difficult to pronounce for all English speaker
7. I am a skinhead
8. I am 5'8
9. I am overweight
10. I gained about 15 pounds since I started my anti-depressant medication last August
11. I am Chinese; sometimes I wish I am from somewhere else
12. I speak two Chinese dialects, Cantonese and Hokkien
13. I speak Mandarin too
14. I was born in December 1989
15. My lunar birthday is 11th of the 11th month
16. My Chinese zodiac is snake
17. I am a sagittarius
18. My favourite season is autumn
19. My "lucky" (maybe not) numbers are 3 and 12
20. I wear glasses
21. I love languages
22. My favourtie food is pasta
23. I am “burgerphobic”, which means I hate hamburgers
24. My mother don’t let me eat junk food when I was a kid
25. My mom was pretty strict to me when I was a kid
26. My favourite sport is table-tennis, which is kind of a stereotype for Chinese.
27. I love swimming too, but I don't have a swimmer body
28. I want to travel as many countries as I can.
29. I love skyscrapers
30. My favourite fruits are mango and pineapple
31. I listen to old songs
32. I love old things, especially antiques
33. I love counting money
34. I failed English in Primary 3 (3rd grade)
35. My weakness in English is prepositions
36. I have never broken a bon
37. My first time on an airplane is about 11
38. I love barbequed food
39. I love the sound of a xylophone
40. I don’t know what I care about the most in my life
41. My favourite TV reality show is the Amazing Race
42. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is my favourties too
43. In Fab 5, I like Kyan
44. I love to watch Desperate Housewives, and HOUSE
45. My favourite musical is The Producers (actually Springtime for Hitler :P)
46. I love to watch cooking and traveling programmes
47. I want to be a teacher one day
48. I have pen-friends and I write letter and send them by snail mail
49. I collect stamps, coins and paper money, which make me feel I am kind of geeky
50. I am not hairy, I don't have much facial hair
51. I went to a boys’ school for 5 years
52. If I were American. I would be a Democrat
53. As above, I would vote for Obama instead of Clinton
54. I live in the US for a school year as high school exchange student
55. I stayed in the Midwest (I can't tell you which state) during my high school exchange year
56. My favorite subjects are History, French, Theatre (during exchange year)
57. I didn't join the swim team during the exchange year because I am fat, and I feel embarassed to shower with a bunch of guys, basically I was shy
58. I wish I tried the musical audition during the exchange year
59. I have more friends in the US than Hong Kong
60. I actually have less than 5 friends in Hong Kong
61. I love to make friends with people all over the world
62. I can count 1 to 10 in 4 languages
63. I hate literature
64. I tried my first beer when I was 4, believe it or not
65. I never smoke
66. I never tried any drugs
67. I wear size 13 shoes, sometimes 12, 12.5 fit
68. I have taking showers and bath
69. I don't wear jeans much because my thighs are thick
70. I have have any pets, and I don't want any pets
71. I wish I have someone to go to gym and do exercise with me
72. I always want to have a gay close friend
73. I am circumcised
74. I can’t remember my first male crush, it might happened when I was about 4
75. I think I started to discover I am gay at the age of 13
76. I think my first masturbation was at the age of 8
77. I ususally masturbate during shower
78. I love cuddling and making out more than sex
79. I don't know if I am top, bottom or versatile
80. I don't think I like anal sex
81. My cousin showed me straight porn when I was 8
82. I was a virgin until Summer 2007
83. I have an underwear fetish, I think most gay men have this
84. I have never been in love.
85. I rarely have a wet dream
86. I have crushes on some girl, but I never want to do something further with them
87. I went to prom with the girl I like
88. I don't know how to dance
89. I never ski
90. I don't feel like coming out to my family
91. I wish I do more stuffs during my high school exchange year
92. I love my host family (the family who host me during the exchange year), I feel like part of them
93. I want to have at least a million dollar when I am 40
94. I don't have to have children
95. I love going to the library
96. I wish there's more gay related books at the library
97. I have many craps in my room
98. I love jazz
99. I want to make myself a better person
100. I wish I have a happy life.
100 things about me:
1. I was born in Hong Kong
2. I was born in (probably wrong preposition for this) premature delivery (about 3 months earlier than usual)
3. I weighted about 4 pounds when I was born
4. I am only child of my parents
5. I have more than 20 cousins
6. My last name starts with T, and it’s difficult to pronounce for all English speaker
7. I am a skinhead
8. I am 5'8
9. I am overweight
10. I gained about 15 pounds since I started my anti-depressant medication last August
11. I am Chinese; sometimes I wish I am from somewhere else
12. I speak two Chinese dialects, Cantonese and Hokkien
13. I speak Mandarin too
14. I was born in December 1989
15. My lunar birthday is 11th of the 11th month
16. My Chinese zodiac is snake
17. I am a sagittarius
18. My favourite season is autumn
19. My "lucky" (maybe not) numbers are 3 and 12
20. I wear glasses
21. I love languages
22. My favourtie food is pasta
23. I am “burgerphobic”, which means I hate hamburgers
24. My mother don’t let me eat junk food when I was a kid
25. My mom was pretty strict to me when I was a kid
26. My favourite sport is table-tennis, which is kind of a stereotype for Chinese.
27. I love swimming too, but I don't have a swimmer body
28. I want to travel as many countries as I can.
29. I love skyscrapers
30. My favourite fruits are mango and pineapple
31. I listen to old songs
32. I love old things, especially antiques
33. I love counting money
34. I failed English in Primary 3 (3rd grade)
35. My weakness in English is prepositions
36. I have never broken a bon
37. My first time on an airplane is about 11
38. I love barbequed food
39. I love the sound of a xylophone
40. I don’t know what I care about the most in my life
41. My favourite TV reality show is the Amazing Race
42. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is my favourties too
43. In Fab 5, I like Kyan
44. I love to watch Desperate Housewives, and HOUSE
45. My favourite musical is The Producers (actually Springtime for Hitler :P)
46. I love to watch cooking and traveling programmes
47. I want to be a teacher one day
48. I have pen-friends and I write letter and send them by snail mail
49. I collect stamps, coins and paper money, which make me feel I am kind of geeky
50. I am not hairy, I don't have much facial hair
51. I went to a boys’ school for 5 years
52. If I were American. I would be a Democrat
53. As above, I would vote for Obama instead of Clinton
54. I live in the US for a school year as high school exchange student
55. I stayed in the Midwest (I can't tell you which state) during my high school exchange year
56. My favorite subjects are History, French, Theatre (during exchange year)
57. I didn't join the swim team during the exchange year because I am fat, and I feel embarassed to shower with a bunch of guys, basically I was shy
58. I wish I tried the musical audition during the exchange year
59. I have more friends in the US than Hong Kong
60. I actually have less than 5 friends in Hong Kong
61. I love to make friends with people all over the world
62. I can count 1 to 10 in 4 languages
63. I hate literature
64. I tried my first beer when I was 4, believe it or not
65. I never smoke
66. I never tried any drugs
67. I wear size 13 shoes, sometimes 12, 12.5 fit
68. I have taking showers and bath
69. I don't wear jeans much because my thighs are thick
70. I have have any pets, and I don't want any pets
71. I wish I have someone to go to gym and do exercise with me
72. I always want to have a gay close friend
73. I am circumcised
74. I can’t remember my first male crush, it might happened when I was about 4
75. I think I started to discover I am gay at the age of 13
76. I think my first masturbation was at the age of 8
77. I ususally masturbate during shower
78. I love cuddling and making out more than sex
79. I don't know if I am top, bottom or versatile
80. I don't think I like anal sex
81. My cousin showed me straight porn when I was 8
82. I was a virgin until Summer 2007
83. I have an underwear fetish, I think most gay men have this
84. I have never been in love.
85. I rarely have a wet dream
86. I have crushes on some girl, but I never want to do something further with them
87. I went to prom with the girl I like
88. I don't know how to dance
89. I never ski
90. I don't feel like coming out to my family
91. I wish I do more stuffs during my high school exchange year
92. I love my host family (the family who host me during the exchange year), I feel like part of them
93. I want to have at least a million dollar when I am 40
94. I don't have to have children
95. I love going to the library
96. I wish there's more gay related books at the library
97. I have many craps in my room
98. I love jazz
99. I want to make myself a better person
100. I wish I have a happy life.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Update
I feel like it had been ages since the last post. I always want to write something but I don’t know what to talk about. It’s just because my life is kind of boring and there’s nothing special I can mention. (Right now I feel that my English sucks)
I went to Shenzhen, China (an hour from Hong Kong) to celebrate Chinese New Year with relatives from my mom’s side. I tried to get on the internet a few times but it didn’t work, that sucks. If I got the internet, I would have post another entry earlier than today.
I didn’t get many red packets this year. You know I am now 18, not a little boy (brat?) anymore, so the older relatives don’t give as much red packets to me as they did before.
Yesterday, I went to my cousin’s wedding banquet. It’s pretty good. I have many different thoughts in my mind during the whole thing. You know, as I am gay, I won’t get married which means I won’t have to do all the wedding things. And then I was thinking about how to explain the whole gay thing to my mom, I had told her that I don’t want to get married and have children, and she is fine with that. I think she had figured out something, but it is still hard for me to tell her I am gay. And then I was thinking of the whole coming out thing, I am still scared to come out to anyone and I don’t feel like coming out to any body, maybe it’s because I feel kind of insecure.
Well, I am kind of tired right now. I think I am going to bed soon.
PS. That would be great if someone check my grammar for this entry, I am serious for that.
Good news: I feel much better and not depressed
I went to Shenzhen, China (an hour from Hong Kong) to celebrate Chinese New Year with relatives from my mom’s side. I tried to get on the internet a few times but it didn’t work, that sucks. If I got the internet, I would have post another entry earlier than today.
I didn’t get many red packets this year. You know I am now 18, not a little boy (brat?) anymore, so the older relatives don’t give as much red packets to me as they did before.
Yesterday, I went to my cousin’s wedding banquet. It’s pretty good. I have many different thoughts in my mind during the whole thing. You know, as I am gay, I won’t get married which means I won’t have to do all the wedding things. And then I was thinking about how to explain the whole gay thing to my mom, I had told her that I don’t want to get married and have children, and she is fine with that. I think she had figured out something, but it is still hard for me to tell her I am gay. And then I was thinking of the whole coming out thing, I am still scared to come out to anyone and I don’t feel like coming out to any body, maybe it’s because I feel kind of insecure.
Well, I am kind of tired right now. I think I am going to bed soon.
PS. That would be great if someone check my grammar for this entry, I am serious for that.
Good news: I feel much better and not depressed
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
There's not much things going on this week. I feel much better now, at least not as depressed at a few weeks ago. I am trying to figure out why I am so frsutrated and I come up with some reasons. The first reason is my mom, she makes me feel frustrated everytime when she talks about my medication and everything about my depression and psychosis, which makes me feel bad and overwhelming. The second reason is myself, sometimes I feel worthless and I do nothing, I feel like the medication is not helping me and I am getting worse. The last reason is also about me, I feel like I have somethings wrong but I don't know how to tell my psychologist and doctor about it.
Today I thought about school and I was thinking about my path to University. Since I am out of school, I can't go back to normal school again (it's something I can't explain to you), I think I will take the higher diploma course and get to University after that. There's some top-up degree (is that what it called?)for that.
I am pretty much doing nothing at home. I am probably the laziest person in the world. Since my medication started, I have gained a lot of weight and I wanted to do more exercise and shred the extra pounds, but I just can't push myself to do it. And that's same for many thing, I wanted to do something and I have a hard time to push myself for that thing. I have to find some way to push myself or I will end up being lazy and lazy.
I am also bored and I wish there's someone I can talk to. Some people added my msn and I never talked to them. I wonder where they are. If you have added my msn, please show up soon so that we can chat a little bit.
Today I thought about school and I was thinking about my path to University. Since I am out of school, I can't go back to normal school again (it's something I can't explain to you), I think I will take the higher diploma course and get to University after that. There's some top-up degree (is that what it called?)for that.
I am pretty much doing nothing at home. I am probably the laziest person in the world. Since my medication started, I have gained a lot of weight and I wanted to do more exercise and shred the extra pounds, but I just can't push myself to do it. And that's same for many thing, I wanted to do something and I have a hard time to push myself for that thing. I have to find some way to push myself or I will end up being lazy and lazy.
I am also bored and I wish there's someone I can talk to. Some people added my msn and I never talked to them. I wonder where they are. If you have added my msn, please show up soon so that we can chat a little bit.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
How....?
Sorry for no more eye candies in this blog for a while and I think I am trying to figure out what's wrong/ going on with me. I am glad that there's many comments.
Last Friday I went to see my psychologist and I was wishing to tell her something but it ended up that I didn't say anything and wasted the entire section. I know there's somethings wrong going on but I don't know what to say. It is hard for me to say what is going on which lead to another problem. Because I cannot tell my psychologist what is going on, she cannot do anything with it and pretty much I am stuck in somewhere on my depression and there's no progress.
On thing that could explain why I am feeling worse since the medication is that maybe my mental state started to get worse on the time I started the medication an the medication helps a little bit but not all.
Since I am not at school and I have so many free time. I want to do something meaningful but I can't push myself to do anything. I am probably the laziest person in the world.
So right now what I really want is I can figure out what the problems are and tell my doctor and psychologist about that so I can get out of the hell soon.
Last Friday I went to see my psychologist and I was wishing to tell her something but it ended up that I didn't say anything and wasted the entire section. I know there's somethings wrong going on but I don't know what to say. It is hard for me to say what is going on which lead to another problem. Because I cannot tell my psychologist what is going on, she cannot do anything with it and pretty much I am stuck in somewhere on my depression and there's no progress.
On thing that could explain why I am feeling worse since the medication is that maybe my mental state started to get worse on the time I started the medication an the medication helps a little bit but not all.
Since I am not at school and I have so many free time. I want to do something meaningful but I can't push myself to do anything. I am probably the laziest person in the world.
So right now what I really want is I can figure out what the problems are and tell my doctor and psychologist about that so I can get out of the hell soon.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
My life
So my life is not fucked up, but it's kind of messed up.
I think my medication is not working. I might have to change something after I see my doctor. And I also think I am having another new depression going on, I feel sick all the time, I don't want to eat, and I am bored and don't want to do anything.
I will see my psychologist next Friday and I hope I can tell her how I feel and we can figure something out.
Sorry, you guys have to listen to all my depressing thing. I want to write something different or interesting but I don't know what to talk about.
PS> The picture on the profile is not me. I am not that hot. LOL
I think my medication is not working. I might have to change something after I see my doctor. And I also think I am having another new depression going on, I feel sick all the time, I don't want to eat, and I am bored and don't want to do anything.
I will see my psychologist next Friday and I hope I can tell her how I feel and we can figure something out.
Sorry, you guys have to listen to all my depressing thing. I want to write something different or interesting but I don't know what to talk about.
PS> The picture on the profile is not me. I am not that hot. LOL
Friday, January 11, 2008
My fucked up life
Well, I suppose I can write anything here right?
One of the reason why I write this blog is to talk about my feelings right?
I have been feeling bad these days and I really want to talk to someone.
Why there's no one who truly understands what I have been through???
This is a long story: (Sorry if this is a bad passage, I suck at writing)
Ummm, I don't know where should I start. I don't know what makes me feel down but this is what happens to me. I have depression and psychosis and I don't know when it started. I realised that when I was in the United States last year and I started to see therapy. Then I continue seeing a psychologist back in Hong Kong and I also started to see a doctor for medication on Summer 2007.
Even I am on medication, sometimes I feel better and sometimes I feel very (damn) bad.
I was stressed out at school and I quitted school last October and I have been staying home til now. I am confused about the school thing and I have to figure out what to do with school again.
One bad thing is that my parents are not supportive and they don't understand how bad I feel. I have fights with them all the time.
And I don't have many friends either. So pretty much I don't have any friends to supoort me. Everyone thinks I am a freak.
I am so frustrated and lost. I don't know how can I get out of all these problems. My life is simply messed up.
One of the reason why I write this blog is to talk about my feelings right?
I have been feeling bad these days and I really want to talk to someone.
Why there's no one who truly understands what I have been through???
This is a long story: (Sorry if this is a bad passage, I suck at writing)
Ummm, I don't know where should I start. I don't know what makes me feel down but this is what happens to me. I have depression and psychosis and I don't know when it started. I realised that when I was in the United States last year and I started to see therapy. Then I continue seeing a psychologist back in Hong Kong and I also started to see a doctor for medication on Summer 2007.
Even I am on medication, sometimes I feel better and sometimes I feel very (damn) bad.
I was stressed out at school and I quitted school last October and I have been staying home til now. I am confused about the school thing and I have to figure out what to do with school again.
One bad thing is that my parents are not supportive and they don't understand how bad I feel. I have fights with them all the time.
And I don't have many friends either. So pretty much I don't have any friends to supoort me. Everyone thinks I am a freak.
I am so frustrated and lost. I don't know how can I get out of all these problems. My life is simply messed up.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Found these on facebook
Is it so hard just to find a guy who:
- IS SMART!!!
-Has a good personality
-Nice smile
-WON’T BREAK YOUR HEART!!
-Just wants to cuddle and not have sex
-thoughtful/considerate
-will sit and talk about any/everything
-LISTENS WHEN YOU TALK BACK!!!
-will hold your hand
-tell you how beautiful you are (not hot or fine or sexy)
-ISN’T AFRAID TO SHOW THEIR FEELINGS!!!
-tell you the TRUTH even if you don’t want to hear it.
-doesn’t want to be with a million other girls?
-is straight (lol)
-will be there for you through the good and bad times
-get you flowers just because
-will call/text you just to tell you how much he cares
-see a chick flick with you
-not make fun of you when you tell him your thought/dreams
-just sweet and good (for the most part)
Or am I just expecting too much??
Don't you think that's true??
- IS SMART!!!
-Has a good personality
-Nice smile
-WON’T BREAK YOUR HEART!!
-Just wants to cuddle and not have sex
-thoughtful/considerate
-will sit and talk about any/everything
-LISTENS WHEN YOU TALK BACK!!!
-will hold your hand
-tell you how beautiful you are (not hot or fine or sexy)
-ISN’T AFRAID TO SHOW THEIR FEELINGS!!!
-tell you the TRUTH even if you don’t want to hear it.
-doesn’t want to be with a million other girls?
-is straight (lol)
-will be there for you through the good and bad times
-get you flowers just because
-will call/text you just to tell you how much he cares
-see a chick flick with you
-not make fun of you when you tell him your thought/dreams
-just sweet and good (for the most part)
Or am I just expecting too much??
Don't you think that's true??
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Friday, December 28, 2007
Question
Let me ask you something. As we all know, Mickey Mouse only has four fingers. So which finger he doesn't have?
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Holiday
I feel like it's ages since my last entry and I didn't say anything.
Well, I have been very tired all day with no reasons and I think if there;s a cute boy to wake me up it would be awesome.
This year I am not really in a holiday mood like last year. Last year I was in the United States and I was more in the holiday thing than ever, I got many presents.
By the way I am also waiting for a package from my host family (the family who host me last year when I was a exchange student) in the midwest, it's something they gave me for birthday plus Christmas, I hope it arrive tomorrow.
Jeez, I have a headache right now. What I want is medicine and a cute boy will help too!
Maybe a guy like this?
Or this? :)
This year I am not really in a holiday mood like last year. Last year I was in the United States and I was more in the holiday thing than ever, I got many presents.
By the way I am also waiting for a package from my host family (the family who host me last year when I was a exchange student) in the midwest, it's something they gave me for birthday plus Christmas, I hope it arrive tomorrow.
Jeez, I have a headache right now. What I want is medicine and a cute boy will help too!
Maybe a guy like this?
Or this? :)
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Queer Eye is back!
It's great that Queer Eye is back on TVB pearl on the 29th.
Queer Eye is always one of my favorite shows!
Queer Eye is always one of my favorite shows!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Being 18 (II)
Being 18 means I have to change my ID card and my passport soon (in a month I would say). I didn't feel I am more mature than before eventhough I am 18 now. Well, 18 is 18, there isn't much thing to expect for being 18 right?
Talking about sex. I don't think I really love anal sex. I don't know why. You know that not everyone like it huh?
I don't think I am a really sexually active person, and sex don't really mean a lot to me not til I got a boyfriend.
Oh, boyfriend! I have been longing to get one. But the more I am thinking about it, the more it will make me depressed. I know I should not be hurry for a boyfriend, it will come finally right?
Here's just some pic to today.
Talking about sex. I don't think I really love anal sex. I don't know why. You know that not everyone like it huh?
I don't think I am a really sexually active person, and sex don't really mean a lot to me not til I got a boyfriend.
Oh, boyfriend! I have been longing to get one. But the more I am thinking about it, the more it will make me depressed. I know I should not be hurry for a boyfriend, it will come finally right?
Here's just some pic to today.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Being 18
Being 18 in Hong Kong, you can smoke, drink and gambling.
And I don't know why it reminds me something I knew from news.
There's a law in Hong Kong that guys under the age of 21 cannot have gay sex.
I always wonder why. It's something left by the British though....
And I don't know why it reminds me something I knew from news.
There's a law in Hong Kong that guys under the age of 21 cannot have gay sex.
I always wonder why. It's something left by the British though....
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Blazing Asian
Today I took the TOEFL test (a English test) and it should be fine.
I was kind of nervous at the oral examination.
I had Indian food for dinner tonight and then I saw the word "blazing" in somewhere, which reminds me my nickname at the high school play last year during my exchange year in USA is "Blazing Asian". I was working back stage in the school play and everyone get a nickname. Another boy who is also in the crew, let's call him Sporty Boy, he also worked the lights with me and he came out the nickname "Blazing Asian" for me and I don't know why.
It actually make sense somehow, coz I am the only Asian in the backstage crew so no matter if I am hot or not, I am also the blazing asian.
Well, just a pic I found long long time ago for you guys.
I was kind of nervous at the oral examination.
I had Indian food for dinner tonight and then I saw the word "blazing" in somewhere, which reminds me my nickname at the high school play last year during my exchange year in USA is "Blazing Asian". I was working back stage in the school play and everyone get a nickname. Another boy who is also in the crew, let's call him Sporty Boy, he also worked the lights with me and he came out the nickname "Blazing Asian" for me and I don't know why.
It actually make sense somehow, coz I am the only Asian in the backstage crew so no matter if I am hot or not, I am also the blazing asian.
Well, just a pic I found long long time ago for you guys.
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