Comments

Here's some comments I got a few days ago and I want to talk about this:

1/
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "100th POST!!!":

Do something about your weight problem while you are young. The older you get, the harder it will be to lose the extra kilos. It would be nice of have someone to go to the gym with but that's just an excuse not to go. Besides you might meet someone hunky there. Or swim - a good way to get trim. Maybe you feel yucky now but exercising and seeing your body change will give you more confidence in catching the eye of a cute guy. Ian

Well, Ian is right. I should probably do something about my weight right now. Yesterday I went to the beach with my cousin and he told some picutre of me, gosh, I look more chubby than the past few month. There's also a problem, I am lazy for going to gym, and wanted to have someone go with me is really an excuse. Also, I found out that I can't control my eating habits.

2/
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "My fucked up life":

It's not your life that is fucked up - it is the context and surroundings in which it is able to live.

If you really can't change the people and surroundings that is causing you so much grief, consider moving to somewhere where you can be truly you.

Much love...

I think I want to talk about this more on my next post. I really want to move to somewhere else. Well, let's talk about this more on the next post.

Auckland , NZ

Hey bitches, what's up? I am now in Auckland , NZ and this is my fifth day here.
So right now I am at the cafe for internet coz my cousin's place don't have internet. That sucks, I can't read all the cool blogs and looking for nice hot stud porn on the internet.

I am having fun here so far with my cousin and his friends.We went to play bowling, snooker and golf (I sucked at it). I also rent movies and TV shows and I watch them everyday. I also went to a bookstore and bought some books so that I can read a little bit before going to bed.

Well, I don't know how long I am going to stay in Auckland, it won't be more than 90 days. Also, I won't be able to update this blog all the time, I will try my best.

Pasta Scene

Have you ever heard of someone using pasta for fun?



The boy in the video is Julien Baumgartner, the cutie at the movie You'll Get Over It.

Conversation 2

The Conversation was about me coming out to a friend.
Today I went to a few sex stores with this friends, and looking for a fleshlight, but I didn't buy one.
End of story

Conversation

Please leave comments if you have any ideas about the following conversation, I will talk about this later.

A: so can I ask you and tell you a bunch of crap
A: don't be pissed or being awkward, ok
B: Alright
A: ok
A:first question
A: what if one of your friend ( male friend) is a homosexual
B:respect
A: i see
A: cool
A:and will you stay away from him?
B: not deliberately
A:what do you mean by not deliberately
B:no, i mean
A: What do you mean?
A: you mean not delibertae stay away from him right
B: ?.?...hu just simple"NO" no
A: what NO I don't understand
B: Which means I won’t
A: ok
B: you know about Vincent right?
A: what happened on him?
B: you didn't know@@?
B: Well, he was with someone…..
A: who
B: i forgot his name= =
B: same class with us
A: Henry
B: That’s it!
A: is that real?
B: Well, I don’t know
A: you mean they had sex LOL
B:: Of coz not la i think
A: well, just kidding
A: even str8 man do things to stimulate their prostate
A: opps, i am saying too much
A: well, which lead to another question I am going to ask
B: ok
A: do you think I am a homosexual?
B: i dun think so...wt? someone thinks that?
A: well, no one thinks I am a homo
B:you think you are gay?
A: well, i don't know what to say now
A:but there's a reason I am asking all these thing
B: wt reason?
A: it's difficult to say it but since I brought it up
A: I should finish what I want to say
B: ok
A: let's just say I am a homo, what would you think?
B: Nothing will happen, at least you’re not having a crush on me
A: ok, i should make it clear now
B: go ahead
A: ok, so I am a homo
A: is because I think i need to let someone know and kind of having some support
B: :)
A: and reason number two is, we are friends, and you open to me
A: and i should do the same right
B: thanks for telling me
A: you're welcome
A: AND , I like Caucasian men more than Asian :P
A: so you don't have to worry about I will have a crush on you
B: :P
A: funny huh?
A: I mean the preference on Caucasian men is funny
B: i think so
A: lol
A: if you want to ask me anything about the homo thing, you can always bring it up
A: but, don't tell anyone about my sexuality tihng
A: let's just keep me semi-closeted
B: ok ofcoz la...but you want to tell me...i will listen
A: there's many thing about what happened
A: many stories in the US about my sexuality
A: They are not about sex, no worries :P
B: good~!
A: you mean good by me not talking about sex right? LOL
B: yup

Please leave comments if you have any ideas about the following conversation, I will talk about this later.

From Postsecret, exactly what I am

I want to lose some weight but I am far too lazy....

New Poll

24 Feb 2008

Today I went to get some Chinese herbs in a store and then I walked around the area. I went to mall and walk around and I found this Video store, I wanted to rent DVDs of the O.C. but it cost a lot so I decided I am not going to rent it.

Then, I saw the banner of the sex store, which is nearby where I used to go to school and I know that store exists for many year. I thought I would go there and see how much a fleshlight and dildo cost because I want one but I didn't. I feel awkward to go there.

So now I am putting this new poll and see what you guys think about it.

Quick update

1/ I am lazy

2/ I have just found out I gained more than 15 pounds since I started the medication

3/ I stopped all the crap medicine for my depression and psychosis and I went to see a Chinese herbalist.

4/ I am going to New Zealand at on the first week of March.

Anybody have any ideas about doing things in Auckland should tell me, or if you are from New Zealand (especially Auckland), please contact me

Be My Anti Valentine

100th POST!!!

After reading Troy's 100th post, I also want to write 100 things about me.

100 things about me:

1. I was born in Hong Kong
2. I was born in (probably wrong preposition for this) premature delivery (about 3 months earlier than usual)
3. I weighted about 4 pounds when I was born
4. I am only child of my parents
5. I have more than 20 cousins
6. My last name starts with T, and it’s difficult to pronounce for all English speaker
7. I am a skinhead
8. I am 5'8
9. I am overweight
10. I gained about 15 pounds since I started my anti-depressant medication last August
11. I am Chinese; sometimes I wish I am from somewhere else
12. I speak two Chinese dialects, Cantonese and Hokkien
13. I speak Mandarin too
14. I was born in December 1989
15. My lunar birthday is 11th of the 11th month
16. My Chinese zodiac is snake
17. I am a sagittarius
18. My favourite season is autumn
19. My "lucky" (maybe not) numbers are 3 and 12
20. I wear glasses
21. I love languages
22. My favourtie food is pasta
23. I am “burgerphobic”, which means I hate hamburgers
24. My mother don’t let me eat junk food when I was a kid
25. My mom was pretty strict to me when I was a kid
26. My favourite sport is table-tennis, which is kind of a stereotype for Chinese.
27. I love swimming too, but I don't have a swimmer body
28. I want to travel as many countries as I can.
29. I love skyscrapers
30. My favourite fruits are mango and pineapple
31. I listen to old songs
32. I love old things, especially antiques
33. I love counting money
34. I failed English in Primary 3 (3rd grade)
35. My weakness in English is prepositions
36. I have never broken a bon
37. My first time on an airplane is about 11
38. I love barbequed food
39. I love the sound of a xylophone
40. I don’t know what I care about the most in my life
41. My favourite TV reality show is the Amazing Race
42. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is my favourties too
43. In Fab 5, I like Kyan
44. I love to watch Desperate Housewives, and HOUSE
45. My favourite musical is The Producers (actually Springtime for Hitler :P)
46. I love to watch cooking and traveling programmes
47. I want to be a teacher one day
48. I have pen-friends and I write letter and send them by snail mail
49. I collect stamps, coins and paper money, which make me feel I am kind of geeky
50. I am not hairy, I don't have much facial hair
51. I went to a boys’ school for 5 years
52. If I were American. I would be a Democrat
53. As above, I would vote for Obama instead of Clinton
54. I live in the US for a school year as high school exchange student
55. I stayed in the Midwest (I can't tell you which state) during my high school exchange year
56. My favorite subjects are History, French, Theatre (during exchange year)
57. I didn't join the swim team during the exchange year because I am fat, and I feel embarassed to shower with a bunch of guys, basically I was shy
58. I wish I tried the musical audition during the exchange year
59. I have more friends in the US than Hong Kong
60. I actually have less than 5 friends in Hong Kong
61. I love to make friends with people all over the world
62. I can count 1 to 10 in 4 languages
63. I hate literature
64. I tried my first beer when I was 4, believe it or not
65. I never smoke
66. I never tried any drugs
67. I wear size 13 shoes, sometimes 12, 12.5 fit
68. I have taking showers and bath
69. I don't wear jeans much because my thighs are thick
70. I have have any pets, and I don't want any pets
71. I wish I have someone to go to gym and do exercise with me
72. I always want to have a gay close friend
73. I am circumcised
74. I can’t remember my first male crush, it might happened when I was about 4
75. I think I started to discover I am gay at the age of 13
76. I think my first masturbation was at the age of 8
77. I ususally masturbate during shower
78. I love cuddling and making out more than sex
79. I don't know if I am top, bottom or versatile
80. I don't think I like anal sex
81. My cousin showed me straight porn when I was 8
82. I was a virgin until Summer 2007
83. I have an underwear fetish, I think most gay men have this
84. I have never been in love.
85. I rarely have a wet dream
86. I have crushes on some girl, but I never want to do something further with them
87. I went to prom with the girl I like
88. I don't know how to dance
89. I never ski
90. I don't feel like coming out to my family
91. I wish I do more stuffs during my high school exchange year
92. I love my host family (the family who host me during the exchange year), I feel like part of them
93. I want to have at least a million dollar when I am 40
94. I don't have to have children
95. I love going to the library
96. I wish there's more gay related books at the library
97. I have many craps in my room
98. I love jazz
99. I want to make myself a better person
100. I wish I have a happy life.

Update

I feel like it had been ages since the last post. I always want to write something but I don’t know what to talk about. It’s just because my life is kind of boring and there’s nothing special I can mention. (Right now I feel that my English sucks)

I went to Shenzhen, China (an hour from Hong Kong) to celebrate Chinese New Year with relatives from my mom’s side. I tried to get on the internet a few times but it didn’t work, that sucks. If I got the internet, I would have post another entry earlier than today.

I didn’t get many red packets this year. You know I am now 18, not a little boy (brat?) anymore, so the older relatives don’t give as much red packets to me as they did before.

Yesterday, I went to my cousin’s wedding banquet. It’s pretty good. I have many different thoughts in my mind during the whole thing. You know, as I am gay, I won’t get married which means I won’t have to do all the wedding things. And then I was thinking about how to explain the whole gay thing to my mom, I had told her that I don’t want to get married and have children, and she is fine with that. I think she had figured out something, but it is still hard for me to tell her I am gay. And then I was thinking of the whole coming out thing, I am still scared to come out to anyone and I don’t feel like coming out to any body, maybe it’s because I feel kind of insecure.

Well, I am kind of tired right now. I think I am going to bed soon.

PS. That would be great if someone check my grammar for this entry, I am serious for that.
Good news: I feel much better and not depressed

Rugby players - male bonding

Straight guys doing gay thing.

There's not much things going on this week. I feel much better now, at least not as depressed at a few weeks ago. I am trying to figure out why I am so frsutrated and I come up with some reasons. The first reason is my mom, she makes me feel frustrated everytime when she talks about my medication and everything about my depression and psychosis, which makes me feel bad and overwhelming. The second reason is myself, sometimes I feel worthless and I do nothing, I feel like the medication is not helping me and I am getting worse. The last reason is also about me, I feel like I have somethings wrong but I don't know how to tell my psychologist and doctor about it.

Today I thought about school and I was thinking about my path to University. Since I am out of school, I can't go back to normal school again (it's something I can't explain to you), I think I will take the higher diploma course and get to University after that. There's some top-up degree (is that what it called?)for that.

I am pretty much doing nothing at home. I am probably the laziest person in the world. Since my medication started, I have gained a lot of weight and I wanted to do more exercise and shred the extra pounds, but I just can't push myself to do it. And that's same for many thing, I wanted to do something and I have a hard time to push myself for that thing. I have to find some way to push myself or I will end up being lazy and lazy.

I am also bored and I wish there's someone I can talk to. Some people added my msn and I never talked to them. I wonder where they are. If you have added my msn, please show up soon so that we can chat a little bit.

How....?

Sorry for no more eye candies in this blog for a while and I think I am trying to figure out what's wrong/ going on with me. I am glad that there's many comments.

Last Friday I went to see my psychologist and I was wishing to tell her something but it ended up that I didn't say anything and wasted the entire section. I know there's somethings wrong going on but I don't know what to say. It is hard for me to say what is going on which lead to another problem. Because I cannot tell my psychologist what is going on, she cannot do anything with it and pretty much I am stuck in somewhere on my depression and there's no progress.

On thing that could explain why I am feeling worse since the medication is that maybe my mental state started to get worse on the time I started the medication an the medication helps a little bit but not all.

Since I am not at school and I have so many free time. I want to do something meaningful but I can't push myself to do anything. I am probably the laziest person in the world.

So right now what I really want is I can figure out what the problems are and tell my doctor and psychologist about that so I can get out of the hell soon.

My life

So my life is not fucked up, but it's kind of messed up.

I think my medication is not working. I might have to change something after I see my doctor. And I also think I am having another new depression going on, I feel sick all the time, I don't want to eat, and I am bored and don't want to do anything.

I will see my psychologist next Friday and I hope I can tell her how I feel and we can figure something out.

Sorry, you guys have to listen to all my depressing thing. I want to write something different or interesting but I don't know what to talk about.

PS> The picture on the profile is not me. I am not that hot. LOL

My fucked up life

Well, I suppose I can write anything here right?
One of the reason why I write this blog is to talk about my feelings right?
I have been feeling bad these days and I really want to talk to someone.
Why there's no one who truly understands what I have been through???

This is a long story: (Sorry if this is a bad passage, I suck at writing)

Ummm, I don't know where should I start. I don't know what makes me feel down but this is what happens to me. I have depression and psychosis and I don't know when it started. I realised that when I was in the United States last year and I started to see therapy. Then I continue seeing a psychologist back in Hong Kong and I also started to see a doctor for medication on Summer 2007.

Even I am on medication, sometimes I feel better and sometimes I feel very (damn) bad.

I was stressed out at school and I quitted school last October and I have been staying home til now. I am confused about the school thing and I have to figure out what to do with school again.

One bad thing is that my parents are not supportive and they don't understand how bad I feel. I have fights with them all the time.

And I don't have many friends either. So pretty much I don't have any friends to supoort me. Everyone thinks I am a freak.

I am so frustrated and lost. I don't know how can I get out of all these problems. My life is simply messed up.

Some Questions

Prince Albert means pierced penis, right?

So is Jonny also means dick somehow?

Found these on facebook

Is it so hard just to find a guy who:
- IS SMART!!!
-Has a good personality
-Nice smile
-WON’T BREAK YOUR HEART!!
-Just wants to cuddle and not have sex
-thoughtful/considerate
-will sit and talk about any/everything
-LISTENS WHEN YOU TALK BACK!!!
-will hold your hand
-tell you how beautiful you are (not hot or fine or sexy)
-ISN’T AFRAID TO SHOW THEIR FEELINGS!!!
-tell you the TRUTH even if you don’t want to hear it.
-doesn’t want to be with a million other girls?
-is straight (lol)
-will be there for you through the good and bad times
-get you flowers just because
-will call/text you just to tell you how much he cares
-see a chick flick with you
-not make fun of you when you tell him your thought/dreams
-just sweet and good (for the most part)

Or am I just expecting too much??




Don't you think that's true??

Naughty

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Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year to everyone!!!